Pershore Golf Society
South Herefordshire 4th July 2025
Summer Special
In the style of Enid Blyton and the famous five go adventuring PGS and the infamous nineteen went meandering to South Herefordshire for the latest event in 2025.
The sun was out, the temperatures high with a cooling breeze and on a Friday afternoon…..perfect or so it seemed. The fairways were quintessentially British summer garden straw colored………AKA rock hard, no grass, baked earth and the course is not known for its flat lies therefore difficulty in staying on the fairway (assuming you hit it). By way of contrast the greens, thoroughly watered were like green Jaffa cakes, soggy to the touch, rough and having to bizarrely ‘tonk’ your putt to get to the hole. Who would therefore master these distinctly differing golf conditions to show mastery of the course and take the plaudits?
Due to an ‘Admin’ error by the club the tee off time was delayed however even this did not prevent late arrivals messieurs Weaver and Broad and the skipper’s charity pot started chinking. It did not stop there, the barmaid shouting out during the skippers brief “has anyone left a hat” ringing out across the patio area with one person’s head getting lower and lower hoping the moment would stop but eventually admitting it was his, McD with another fine in and no balls had been fired yet!
So off they went, skippers group number one with Cuth, Eaton and Moody which by all accounts became very discombobulated on holes 1 and 2? The gist of it was a comedy of errors of picking whatever ball was best placed (mainly Robin we are told), confusion of lies and all-round mix-up of who was doing what. In summary utter carnage by all accounts put down to senior moments.
Group number two decided to wind up Doddy on hole 9, a 328 yarder that he was club house leader as per the App and to be good with the drive down hill, sure enough the drive went right and into the driving range with lots of farts and giggles all around. Whereupon Tezza, the Chairman and big Tony all did exactly the same thing. In fact, big Tony was last seen in the driving range (never a good idea) calling out Titleist, Calloway, Range one by one. The Chairmans alter ego ‘him’ also joined the group for a number of holes resulting in a heavy fine bill at the end.
Due to the baked conditions, driving through the group in front was to become a common occurrence with distances not expected and Mr. Owo on hole 16 as 515 yards measuring his drive at 300 yards! This may not have been pure skill and effort though as David ‘Ayyyyyyyy’ Yule drove hole 15 with the group in front Chris Rawlings putting out. After the game and in attempt to mitigate he declared his usual drive distance was 245 yards (approximately) and as a result he had suddenly gained another 85 yards blamed on the conditions. The plot thickens though as he declared later that he had had a steroid injection that day but under PGS Regulations 7.3, section 4 paragraph (A) no performance enhancing drugs are allowed and this has been reported to the Drug Enforcement Committee member to investigate further.
Then came the group 4 team of Chris, Kev, Fitz and Vic with no less than all the possible top 3 placings seeming to have fared a lot better than others, however still having their moments. The skipper did comment in the closing speech on how Kev and Fitz were dressed the same in shirts and long sleeves and likened them to Mork & Mindy. For those that don’t know a television comedy with Robin Williams as Mork from Ork, who is an alien sent to Earth in an egg, to investigate Earth and report back to his superiors form the late 70’s/early 80’s. The joke probably lost in the ether!
Group 5’s team of Maz, Nev, Nick and Mark scored 74 in the team score which has to be the PGS lowest of all time but only the records can tell. An anonymous spokesperson for the team when asked did the group have any humorous events for the report declared “the scores” (Maz).
Group 3 of Chris, Daren, Clive and Nigel seemed also to be hit and miss. On hole 3 Chris shanked one left to the adjacent fairway for hole 4, no dramas and next shot needed straight into the par 3 green…..however then proceeded to shank it right this time effectively going back down the same fairway he had just come up, great 3 point turn though. Daren also decided that his trolley needed independence and promptly lost it going down hole 17 into the bushes down the hill.
And so, the weary groups finally got back to learn of the results, hole 14 NP in 2 was Daren, nobody managed to hit the dance floor on the NP hole 7 and overall, winning Team was group 4.
In third place with 33 David Yule, second with 34 Kev Lloyd and first and in answer to the question posed at the start of the report with a magnificent 37 Mr. Victor Hammond. When asked in the post-game interview what he put his success down to for example change in approach, clubs, diet, attitude he replied in true understated fashion…………….” I have had a lot of practice”.
Well done to the Vicstar then, skipper for outstanding organisation, Tezza for the fines and committee for usual background efforts.
