Pershore Golf Society
Match Report 21/03/2026 Founder’s Trophy – Handsworth
31 players arrive at Handsworth Golf Club and all on time for the Capt’s Brief. This despite a reported mind-fart by Tony Poyner on the way up leaving Mr Brazier bemused as to why they were driving up the M42! The Capt’s Brief finally got underway, after Terry having to wait for Chairman Adams to finish his, clearly, high brow private conversation. This despite Terry nearly smashing his saucer with a spoon, trying to bring the room to order. Of note, very few players achieved to secure a Comic Relief style RED NOSE. Maz was particularly innovative wearing a Xmas Jumper with Rudolph on the front, just before Easter! In a moment of weakness, Mr Brazier accepted that effort by Maz. Otherwise the fines coffers were suitably boosted. It was also noted that Big Al was doing a lot of work pre-Capt’s brief. In time honoured ‘snowflake society’ tradition, Robbo was informed that Sam needed a bit of time to decompress as he has recently had a new child!!!!!!!!!!! WTF.
The Capt’s brief brought about it usual SFQ’s, firstly from Ian asking whether hole 15 being closed and an extra hole (11a) being inserted made any difference to the Stroke Indexes. It was very quickly pointed out to Ian that ‘who cares, its stroke play you numpty’. This was only surpassed by JRGW, who we can only assume must have had a stroke or some other debilitating medical condition when discussion ensued regarding NP an NP in 2. JRGW continued to insist his point was valid that if NP in 2 is a par three, would you still be nearest the pin if the group in front had taken the flag out when you played onto the green! First question, obviously, was why the feck would you be playing onto the green if the group in front were still putting out!
The next challenge of the day was Darren pointing out to me that Terry had totally balls’d up the Golf Game book. Crisis averted, we were set and ready for the off!
First tee, slightly delayed due to early morning fog, began in basking sunshine with a not insubstantial pond/ lake to the right. As I continue to state, if you have mental health vulnerabilities, this may not be the Golf Society cohort where sympathy, empathy or understanding is forthcoming. The expected first tee banter ensued as the next groups congregated to tee off and watch the Capt lead us on our way. Essentially, the waiting groups all voiced their desire for the 1st group to fade/ slice their drives into said pond! David ‘Aye’ Yule decided feck the Capt, put his ball down and smashed one down the fairway leaving the Capt to tee off second!
I had the pleasure of company from messrs Long, Eaton and newbie, Lane. Jon soon got to understand the sensitivity and supportive nature of the society. On the 5th, Dan managed a remarkable feat with his drive…..wound up to smash the case of the ball, nearly achieved an air shot, but just grazed the top of the ball. His ball 18” forward and still on the mat, the three of us could not hold back our guffaws. Thankfully I came to my senses in time to rush to my bag, get my phone and take photographic evidence – shared on the whatsapp group at the time! Dan did redeem himself with the NP in 2 on 11a, with a fine tee shot and chip in for a 2. However, Dan needed plenty of redemption after nearly killing the local members who were putting out on the 17th green.
Having creamed his drive on the 2nd, he equally creamed his 80yd approach to the 2nd green, pitching 6ft from the hole – unfortunately on the 17th Green! Robin and Jon displayed their excellent potential for being caddies. Robin highlighting a putt he had just sank moves right to left and Jon highlighting the lateral hazard ditch on a hole……both comments coming after me and Dan had taken our shots, missing the putt and finding said ditch! There could be justification/ redemption to Robin’s delayed commentary, the poor sod only landed back in the country from Oz at 8.30pm the night before.
We all remarked on the wildlife on the course and how unbelievable it was that we were in the middle of Birmingham. This came to the fore in the ‘David Attenborough’ moment on the 14th as we witnessed a cunning fox stalk and successfully entrap an unsuspecting Mallard duck. Mr Fox looked very pleased with himself as he scampered back to its hole with ‘flapping crispy aromatic’ in his mouth still making a dying ditch to escape.
On noticing that ‘Notso’ was not having his best golfing day, based on gamebook leaderboard, it was not too much of a surprise to hear that he had marched over to the group in front to point out they had lost a hole on the group in front of them. I understand Pete received some constructive feedback to his observations!
Finally, I found it remarkable that any of the 1st group were still in any state of sobriety by the time the prize giving came around! With Mr Capt spearheading their charge around the course, it was an hour and 10 minutes before the 2nd group to came off the 18th behind the first group.
A fantastic day out, Spring has sprung, and the we look forward to golf in shorts and, fingers crossed, the absence of thick jumpers and waterproofs. Terry, at prize giving, did remark on how strange it was how all the players going to Turkey didn’t have particularly good scores…..c’mon Gaz, get them shots given back!!!!
1st – Adam Izod (on countback) Nett 69 2nd
Ian Brazier – snatching defeat from the jaws of victory!
3rd – Newbie, Jon Lane
NP – Cuth McDowell
NP in 2 – Dan Long
Team Event – Team 5
Sweep – Sam, but he had handed his sweep card in so got DQ’d
Most golf Played – Robin Eaton
No guests
Next up Minchinhampton - Friday 24th April
