Pershore Golf Society
Bournemouth Tour Report
So, myself, Simon T, Maz and Pricey set off in the ‘Adults Fun Bus’ on time with Tezza driving. 1St issue was Terry missing junction 11a of the M5 and blamed me for talking to him! As we queued through Stroud eagerly watching the time ticking away on the Sat Nav estimated arrival time, we scrapped into Captain’s Brief on time by the skin of our teeth – having allowed 4 hours to get there!
We received a whatsapp from the ‘Kids Fun Bus’, consisting of Joe, Spud, Chris S and Sam, with Disco Dave driving – a picture of them having stopped for a pint of cider en route. One mile from Dorset Golf and Country Club our bus passes the Kids bus parked up at the side of the road and them all pissing into the farmers field!
The weather was glorious for the entirety of the tour. Maz, having arrived with an infected shin from a night out on the beers in London the previous week with ‘yours truly’, walked into one of the fence posts protecting the 1st Tee and split the other shin open! And so the Tour began with myself going out with Joe, Disco Dave and Spud. A good test of golf, and although the tee boxes were scruffy, the course presented well and a good challenge. Day 1 Winner, Joe, really started to take the piss on the par 3 17th! With a handicap of 25, from 160yrds shouting ‘be the right number’ as his ball landed 12ft from the hole – kiss goodbye to that handicap eh Gaz!
All headed straight back to the accommodation after the game and the presentation was done back there in the bar. I for one, was very grateful for Mr B moving the bedside table from between our single beds and pushing them together so we were nice and close in the ‘Bruce Springsteen’ suite when we eventually got to bed! More to follow on that….
The presentation was done, minus the Jolley’s as Chris had booked a table in a restaurant at 8pm, despite the itinerary clearly showing an 8.30pm time for the presentation. Chris came second on the day, and via Kangaroo Court donated his prize money to the charity!
Day 2 saw us travel ‘bright eyed and bushy tailed (not!) to Knighton Heath. Oh, forgot to mention, the previous evening we dispersed to various eateries with varying degrees of success. The least successful in that endeavour being Greg whose arse was like the back end of the bat mobile having decided he got food poisoning from his eatery (couldn’t have been the 2 gallon of cider!). Greg retired on the 9th having not prepared by wearing a nappy and returned to the hotel to acquaint himself with a few sachets of diarrhylyte. I was playing with Gaz, and it didn’t escape anyone’s notice that he was willing every ball of mine to end up in whatever crap lay around the course! Again, a really nice course that presented a tough test of golf. Despite this, Joe again retained his form and triumphed on the day, now playing off 23.
Saturday saw the pinnacle of the golfing experience with a lovely ferry ride over to the Isle of Purbeck golf course which was magnificent and challenging in equal measure. We had benign conditions, I would not like to be a member of that course playing it in the winter!!!! With JV having now joined us on the Tour, this saw myself, Gaz (the negger) and Greg (feeling better and plugged!) set out on the course. We go down the 1st to see this majestic deer just off the green staring at us, as we admired the view over Sandbanks. I had my usual mind fart with the NP markers, and for some reason put out the NP in 2 marker on the 5th, when it was clearly identified that it should have been the 17th – needless to say this resulted in a healthy donation to the charity!
Saturday evening saw everyone up for the craic, and Mr B was early out the gates getting absolutely slaughtered and being walked home by Pricey circa 10.30am. Prior to him leaving though, and it being Loud Shirt night, saw Mr B attract the attention of an admiring gentlemen. Mr B being too polite to tell him to sling his hook, was helped out by other members of the group which stopped him becoming a sexual offence victim in his less than alert state!
Sunday and the last day of the Tour with the order of merit going out from Duffers to the Elite. Meyrick golf club did not have the best facilities off course, but for a municipal course presented with an enjoyable and challenging test of golf again – the first being a cheeky 215yd par 3 with crap left and right and all round the green. Chris R having carved a ball into the trees, reloaded with his provisional. As the onlooking groups eagerly anticipated the laser accuracy associated with ‘the provisional ball’, Chris duffed his shot completely hitting Mr B stood 3yds away! This set the tone for the continued hilarity throughout the day. Mr Chairman added to mine and Tezza’s amusement by losing eight balls in the round, two on the same hole!
The Redge, who had flown under the radar all week was in a good position for Tour Champion and held his nerve to secure a well deserved win! Congratulations again to the 2025 Tour Champion Simon ‘The Redge’ Redgewell!!!!!!!
In other news, the Adults vs Kids Fun bus challenge was won by the Adults and this boosted the charity by another £100 – better luck next time young un’s The ball sweep, expertly managed by Mr B, was won by Dom – 219 balls lost (over 3 rounds!!!) with a guess of 221. He thanked Dave A for his vital contribution on the last round!!! The Charity was boosted by £770 and I personally thank you all for your continued donations to the MND charity and the fact you do so without batting an eye – you are all truly the people I want to gravitate towards!!! It would be remiss not to thank JV for the organisation of this wonderful Tour and to the support from all those that have helped me out with the admin stuff for the weekend!
Roll on Swansea!!!!
