Pershore Golf Society
Doubles - Maxstoke Park 2022
Sunday the 24th of April saw the Pershore GS gang wend their way up the M42 to Maxstoke Park Golf Club. Who had ever heard of it? What a great course it turned out to be, a gem, and thanks go to our celebrated king of course arranging Mr JV.
In the middle of nowhere is how I would describe it, the nice lady on Google sent me for miles down country lanes so narrow I had to pull over to let a bee pass me. I ended up in a run down farmyard milking a goat while the farmer’s one toothed son strummed his banjo. Some may have got excited and a semi Arden when they saw golfers though the hedgrow, then limped on as they realised it was “Forest of” and not Maxstoke.
On arrival (eventually) we were greeted with a monstrous bacon roll and lots of coffee and tea. It was suggested by Lord Cuth our wise sage of long words and the Anglo Saxon language that I don’t write my report in Italian (buona fortuna con quello Cuth!)
Way after the start of Pete’s Captain’s Brief, the other Pete, my brother, affectionally known as Notso arrived EvenlessSo Jolley due to an unwanted trip down the same country lanes as I had visited. He thereafter acrued a new nickname (by me), “LastTo”…last to arrive, last out to play, last to finish, last to put in his card, AND even last to place with Dennis and their tiny 40 points .
Then the excitement of the draw for partners. I was more than happy to be drawn with Robbie “Much More Interesting Than Steve” Davies, and the other 2 players in our group turned out to be no less than the defending champions…Messrs Sir Simon the Redge and
David Lacking in Yule-tide Joy (as it turned out later on
the course).
A practice on the putting green which I’m sure everybody
found to be frighteningly fast but superb and true. Then
finally off to the course, where the first group went out
10 minutes early causing me to be late on the tee. A new
format this year, no more Irish or Bogey that only those with
a Masters in Maths could work out, a nice simple Stableford
with both scores to count, guaranteed to cause some
friction between partners though.
David and Simon’s run as Champions ended like a 5 day old
party ballon, flacid and limp, with them managing to come
equal second last with 52 points despite at least two 4 pointers from The Redge and lots of muttering on several tees about “only having one shot on this hole”. David’s 27 points did displeaseth him greatly, causing much use of Anglo Saxon swear words (like merda, cazzo, porca troia, testa di cazzo, fanculo, figa…Italian for those Google fans amongst you) and even a touch of club throwing on occasions. Poor Simon’s par putt on one hole (the 14th-ish) was ruined by 2 huge Guineau Fowl standing near the green screeching with seeming laughter, they weren’t really laughing but we were afterwards.
David Y then took over Mr Ciric’s mantle of b******ing off home straight away without paying his fines etc. To be fair, Mike did stay for a drink this time with the added attraction of money for 3rd place.
Other news: Out on the course, this reporter was told that
Steve High joined the elite Dambusters with 3 bounces across
the pond on the 6th, but still lost his ball. Jerry Hibbert was seen
by the 7th pond flat on his stomach with somebody holding
his legs whilst trying to fish his ball out of the water. And the
miraculous JCS had 3 holes where he hit into water, took a drop,
hit the next stiff and got 5 nett 4’s on all 3. Finishing with a
100mph thin that hit the flag on the 18th and went in!
There’s definitely a theme here…WATER! Yes, I think the course
designer took inspiration from the famed castle and its moat
and decided to put moats all around the course to prevent us
golfers from storming the greens easily. Added to by the many
beautiful ancient oaks dotted around the course, all waiting to
flick your miss-hit drive or approach out of bounds or nudge it
gently into yet another pond.
The signature hole must be the 17th with the castle behind. A wonderful hole with its sneaky hidden moat in front and woe betide those who hit beyond the green, to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune and take a shot penalty against a pond of troubles. Did anybody else see the fair maiden in white looking down from the tower, awaiting her knight in shining armour to rescue her…obviously no luck with us lot then.
Glossing over the rumour that Keith the Chair illegally moved a tee marker and took a vote for no penalty, we move on to the rest of the results.
Dave Adams got Rick K in the sweep. Great round of 39 pts by Rick.
Capitano Pete and MC (not the Hammer but the stayer) came 3rd with a creditable 66 pts
Rick K (fresh from Eastenders) and the “some would say fluckey” JCS a great 69 pts
And our new, very deserving champions…..Killer and Robbo with a superb 73 pts.
A great day out, wonderful course, good company and a lot of laughs. Thanks to JV for organising it and Pete for all the Captain’s work.
Reporter - CJ
