Pershore Golf Society
Memorial Trophy
Walsall Golf Club 13.8.23
On the 13th of August the world famous Pershore Golf Society convened at Walsall to play for the Memorial Trophy, a much coveted, big, new, shiny, probably expensively silverplated cup, first played for just one year ago.
I was asked by Ian to do the report from Wormsley for Captain’s Day which I was really looking forward to, the golf, not the report writing. But sadly it was a washout and cancelled, so I was postponed until now. So, on to a much sunnier and pleasant day at Walsall GC, an Alister MacKenzie design like the Worcestershire, Boughton and of course Augusta National.
Firstly, why and what IS Walsall? Known previously as the leather capital of Britain, hence the football team being known as The Saddlers, who knows why? Maybe because of the well known Brooks leather bicycle saddles made there or something to do with horses perhaps, they have leather stuff I’m told.
Interesting fact: it is called Walsall because at one time there were “walls all” around it.
With most members having arrived reasonably early, there was a baying from some to get on with the Captain’s Brief @ 11.30. These people should have been heavily fined for being completely wrong because, as our esteemed Captain Steve rightly pointed out, it was actually at 11.45.
Duely fined for arriving late, even past the later time of 11.45, Cuth, Nick M and Pete J sneaked in at 11.46, pointlessly complaining about heavy traffic. The heavy fines were later levied by Finesmaster Terry which worked out at £60 per hour each for their tardiness.
The Captain gave his usual excellent brief whilst standing on the little stage in front of a bay window. The only disappointment being the lack of showmanship, no tap dancing or bawdy joke telling, not even a dancing dog. However our very own Terry Mead (he’s here all week) did do a good impression of a clown.
After a very good bacon roll, everyone exited excitedly to the first tee, but a little futile practice on the putting green had soon filled most with total dispondency. Within 30 minutes of the first group teeing off, our group, the 5th out, was called unexpectedly early to “GET ON THE TEE!”. Gimme a break!! I hadn’t even got my bag or brolly on the Jolley trolley!
Our group started like Pros with 4 outstanding drives, never to be repeated! As we walked on from playing our second shots, Simon T happened to glance back to see the Chairman taking his second from a hair past the Ladies Tee, just about avoiding total humiliation. A recurring theme for some other players later.
A par on the first and then a cracking birdie on the second set the tone for HP Sauce, as he became known on the day. This was Happy Pete, not the MP that played in a couple of previous outings. This led to an excellent 4 over gross front 9. Another chip-in birdie on a Par 3 added to the excellence of the score.
Luckily, to save me making up a load of rubbish like I normally do, there were plenty of people willing to do some serious dobbing-in, notwithstanding that Pete Dobbs wasn’t with us on the day.
Poor Dave A, presumably as a result of his feeble first tee shot, became somewhat frustrated and caught a bad case of Tourettes. Is this unusual? Some words possibly used after numerous failed shots could have been..cazzo, merda, stronzo, coglione, minchio, vaffanculo and even the “C” word….fica! (Look ‘em up!)
Let’s get onto Matt Sailes, who by the way, needs some serious congratulating for winning the prestigious Spring Meeting Medal @ The Worcs GC on Saturday. This is one of the 3 “Majors” at the club, so well done Matt. Anyway, to emulate my brother getting a birdie, Matt did so too, only it wasn’t an under par shot, no, it was a full on hit of a plastic “birdie of prey” sitting by the 12th green. Accurate though!
Next to the 12th green, Simon T had just walked from his bag when a ball thumped to the ground where he’d been standing just milliseconds before, he didn’t notice! It was Miguel Robbo Jimenez’s tee shot from a later hole. How was he to know that there was a green 50 yds off his fairway?? Understandable though, given that he’d obviously forgotten to do his famous warm-up routine.
Returning to the Ladies tee theme, our Captain was guilty of hitting a bridge on the 10th and the ball rebounded backwards to a hairsbreadth of the Ladies tee. (He apparently still got a 4 though). Another one lucky to avoid the skirt-wearing punishment (or his “cazzo” out) was Killer with a skyed drive on 17 just passing the red ones.
Finally shamed is David the Yuletide (tidings of comfort and joy). After Bish had hooked his drive into a bush on 18, declared it gone and whacked another one, more Bish-like, hundreds of yards down the fairway, David “kindly” found a ball tucked neatly under a tree in the bush and insisted it was definitely Bish’s. So he had to play it…great joy for Bish!
India-gate!! Mr Adams was heavily fined for using his Chairman’s privelige when requesting that the Captain fiddle a grouping. He, Cuth, JV and Nick M were given the final group together so they could discuss their forthcoming trip to India…in November, scandalous!
Before I get to the results, did any observant person see the notice by the Pro’s shop that said that out before us on the course was being played the Lusty Cup? A ladies comp, apparently named after an honoured past Lady member. You wonder what attracted the bow-legged future Mrs Lusty to her husband Big Richard.
RESULTS:
To rectify some of their troubles, Bish hit a cracker to win nearest the pin and Dave A redeemed himself with NTP in 3 on the 18th. Both received 3 nice new “coglione” for their endeavours.
Best team was: yours truly, Simon T, long hitting Gaz and victorious HP with 4 scores in the 70’s.
Nick Moody took a close 3rd place on countback, Pricey after all his rumoured pratique quotidienne en France came in a very worthy 2nd,
and DRUM ROLL >>>
With an excellent 71 to retain the cup and still be the only name on it was Pete Jolley. Very well played and congratulations to him for a 2nd Memorial Cup win by just the one shot from Andy P.
I think you’ll all agree it turned out to be a great day, a lovely well presented course and super greens, worth a return perhaps? Thanks to those who organised it all (even if they did forget to pay) and to Steve for his Captaining (if there is such a verb). Also congratulations to anyone who has actually stuck it through to the end of this novella.
